26) Nick Names

We were building up a larger and larger number of clients and some times it was difficult to remember who was who. To identify our customers we began giving them nicknames. At one house the first time we delivered there the lady had put a sign “Please remove your shoes” at the doorstep so she became the Shoes off Lady. Another lady on our first delivery told us how she would tell all the people in her village that they must use our service so we called her the Sergeant Major. The lady who told us about the trouble she was having with her dentist was The Lady with the Teeth. At a house with a Doberman dog in the back yard we had The Doberman Lady. In a suburb of modern brick houses was a lone attractive wooden house so we called that lady The Lady in the Wooden House. One lady had just bought a new fridge and complained to us that it was too small so she became the Fridge lady. There was the Home Husband and the Coat Hanger Lady. Some were known by their pets; Heidi’s Mummy or Boris’s daddy. The Home Husband was a divorced man, bringing his family up on his own and the Coat Hanger Lady would give me a pretty covered coat hanger every time we delivered her groceries. I thanked her and told her that she did not need to do that but she was insistent. “I give everybody who delivers anything here one my dear” she said and I imagined a great big strong delivery man, all muscles and hairy arms walking out with a pretty pink, lace trimmed coat hanger. Heidi was a lively Maltese poodle that Jonny would always bring a titbit for. She was soon so used to her treat from Jonny that her ‘Mummy’ told us that on Friday mornings she would sit near the door anticipating Jonny ‘s arrival. When her owner filled in the docket in Coles she would not enter her real name but would write ‘Heidi’s Mummy’. Boris was a lovely standard Schnauzer, when he heard the car he would run up to the upstairs balcony and tell the whole neighbourhood that his Dad’s groceries had arrived.

One of our favourites was THAT woman. The very first time we delivered to her we could not find her unit. I had to phone her and ask her how to get there. Then when we got there we found that we had not delivered her pizzas. We knew it was our fault for not checking in the fridge for an extra packet so we just went back to Franklins store to find it. THAT woman told me much later that she thought on that first delivery “We’ve got a right couple of idiots here”. The next time she shopped at Erina Fair she chose to buy from Coles and was surprised to see the same ‘couple of idiots’ arrive with her goods. We asked her if she had changed shops to get away from us and she said no but we were not completely convinced. Once she got to know us and we were giving her good service she was a good friend and forgave us all sorts of things. One week she had bought a case of beer, which by the way the Australians call a ‘slab of beer’. As Jonny took it out of the car he broke on of the bottles. She was not very pleased with that but forgave us. The next day we bought another bottle of beer to replace the breakage and then all was well again. She had a great sense of humour and teased us as much as we teased her. She would always find some cheeky comment to put on the docket and she would always fill in her name as THAT WOMAN.

One lovely couple were Mr. & Mrs. Go-With-The-Flow. They were both in their late eighties and Mrs. Go-With-The-Flow was not too well physically and needed a walking frame but was as sharp as a new pin and told us all about her life and her family. Unfortunately Mr. Go-With-The-Flow seemed fit and active but the years had taken their toll on his mental capacity and he suffered form a touch of dementia. He would get very mixed up when he told us about his life. He told us stories of his life the British navy during the Second World War he usually finished his stories by telling us that “If you want to get on in the world you have to Go With The Flow”